Monthly Archives: November 2012

Anchor #5: Sympathetic Joy

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To be happy…for someone else.  It sounds easy to do, doesn’t it?  Of course, it does.  You are probably thinking of someone close to you:  your brother finally getting that job, your son graduating college, your sister won the big jackpot at pachinko, your friend got a raise.

Pachinko–Japanese Slot Machines?

However, when you really think about it are you 100% happy for that person?  100%!?  There is not a tinge of jealousy or “sour grapes?”  You are not thinking things like this?

  1. About your brother and his job – I need a new job, too!
  2. About your son and his graduation – Why didn’t I ever get my degree?
  3. About your sister and her big win – Money isn’t everything, she might be sorry after the tax bill comes!
  4. About your friend and his raise – I wish I was “in” with the boss.

Called Mudita in Sanskrit, sympathetic joy means unconstrained happiness for another’s good fortune.  This means not only to feel happy for them, but to do so unconditionally without those “sour grapes” feelings.  Sometimes I am just outright envious of others’ happiness, which means that I really have a long way to go before I can really feel any joy, let alone sympathetic joy for another.

Sour Grapes?

To have the thoughts in 1 – 4 above is not necessarily bad in and of itself.  We can use others’ success and happiness to reflect on where our life is going (e.g. What can I do to get a new job?) and on what is important to us (“I really don’t need a college degree at this point in my life” or “money really isn’t everything”).  However, these kinds of thoughts, particularly in the moments right after we discover the good news, can indicate that we are unwilling to be unconditionally joyous for others.

Even more difficult is to have sympathetic joy for someone we do not know and then, heaven forbid, for someone we really don’t like.  This attitude requires some cultivation to be sure.  Think of an elected official who you did not want to win his position, but he won anyway.  Can you be happy for him?  What about the lady in front of you at the checkout counter who is the 1 millionth customer?  She just won $50,000!  Can you be happy for her?  What about the guy who just passed you on the right (oh, the humanity!) and made it through that red light?

To meditate on whether or not you have an unconditional joy for others can be a very powerful tool in your journey toward virtue.  You can also develop the ability to have better sympathetic joy by meditating on it.  Your meditation may begin with gently closing your eyes, then following your breath.  When you breathe in, notice your breath and say “breathing in.  When you breathe out, notice the out-breath and say “breathing out,” and so on…

As you continue to follow your breath meditate on someone with good fortune; maybe a friend, your spouse, or family member.  Truly feel their joy.  Their joy is your joy.  You are happy.  As you continue, you can think of someone you don’t know.  You can think of someone who has had great fortune.  Maybe a neighbor you are not close to who has just had a newborn child.  Truly feel their joy.  Their joy is your joy.  You are happy because they are happy.  Next, you can think of someone you do not particularly like.  They have great fortune that comes their way.  Truly feel their joy.  Their joy is your joy.  You are happy because they are happy.

Welcome to Mudita…One of the Four Sublime States and one my 7 Meditation Anchors.

Will you try this?

The Four Sublime States

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In Buddhism, there are Four Sublime States (brahmavihāras, sometimes called the immeasurables).  According to the history, they were taught directly by the Buddha.

  • Lovingkindness (metta) –  an unconditional desire for all living things to be happy
  • Compassion (karuna) – a desire to relieve suffering of others
  • Sympathetic Joy (mudita) – rejoicing in the good fortune and happiness of others
  • Equanimity (upekkha) – a detached acceptance of existence, good and bad

They are considered by Buddhists to be a strong tool to fight negative attitudes and feelings.  I consider them to to be very strong tools to be more virtuous.

Anchor #4: Persistence

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In Buddhism, there is an Eight-Fold Path to enlightenment, recommended to break the chain of suffering (called “Dukkha”).  The Eight-Fold Path as explained by most texts takes awhile to digest, and its components overlap in many ways.  It is a product of Eastern thought, which for lack of a better term, requires some absorption.  The path is a powerful concept to understand and put into practice in your pursuit of virtue.  Today, I will reflect on two of the eight because they have a lot to do with our Fourth Anchor, Persistence:  Right Effort and Right Concentration.  Together these two Eastern concepts will help me convey the value of persistence.

If we were to have perfect patience and nothing else we would wait for things to happen…and nothing would happen.  To complement patience, I would say we need to take actions to make ourselves and our surroundings better and to do so with persistence.   Persistence implies hard work…persistence is hard work.  We try and try over and over again, we fail, we get up.  To maintain our sanity, we must have patience; but to keep going, we must persist!

Champion Powerlifters Must Have Persistence – Lots of Right Effort!
(www.liftingpictures.com)

But at what should we persist?  Hitler was persistent, and so was Osama Bin Laden.  How do I guide myself to persistent good?  I have found the concept of Right Effort and Right Concentration to be very helpful guide to how we should persist.

It is at this point that I will explain Right Effort.  Right Effort requires that we persistently make effort to become more virtuous.  According to Zen this effort, to be right, should be focused on 4 endeavors:

  1. Prevent arising unwholesome views and feelings
  2. Abandon unwholesome views and feelings you already have
  3. Create new wholesome views and feelings
  4. Maintain the wholesome views and feelings that you have

This kind of effort requires persistence and lots of concentration.  Which brings us to Right Concentration.  To be persistent in our pursuit of the good, we must maintain our focus on it.  The best way, I think, to do this is to concentrate on what is important.  And the best way to concentrate on what is important is to reflect or meditate on what is important.   Concentrating on what will make us more virtuous is what makes it “right.”  With the Right Effort and Right Concentration, I can eventually get beyond “thinking about virtue” for 5 – 30 minutes a day, and create the motivation to live and act virtuously.

But of course, to be virtuous takes great persistence.  The world around you won’t change very much at all, despite your efforts; however, with time your view and your impact on your immediate world will change for the better.

…as long as you are persistent.

Dukkha

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Dukkha – Buddhist term for suffering.  More precisely defined as “unsatisfactoriness.”  An example of unsatisfactoriness might be that feeling after you win a big race or the lottery.  Not right after, but after maybe a few days or a few months.  You might still feel unfulfilled.  It’s that “now what” feeling after you get/accomplish something that you thought would make you happy.