Author Archives: Chris

About Chris

Navigating through life by learning. Sharing my thoughts and experiences, hoping that it might help as many as possible live the good life.

Seneca’s God (Vis-à-vis Plato)

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Thus far, I have written quite a bit about how we can be happy by understanding the nature of reality around us.  Understanding is very important for our happiness, but isn’t it only the beginning?  To understand is to survive, but what makes us thrive?  What inspires us and leads us to our greatest happiness?  What is the meaning of all this?

I struggle with this question often.  Some days (or even moments), I find myself duty-bound to all of humanity.  Other times (yes, it could even be in the next moment), it seems that the greatest good is to “first, do no harm.”  In other words, if I mind my own business, and take care of myself while burdening the fewest number, then I am living the virtuous life.  Often, the good seems to be in being present for and helpful to those closest to us; to really be present and aware is what brings true happiness.

This meaning of life, this purpose seems to transcend from some universal order, some predetermined destiny of how existence should be, and whether or not we are living according to this plan.  At this point, it seems, is where the question of God comes in.  Seneca proposed that God is, in essence, the first cause.  That which drives all creativity, including our own.

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

However, this “first cause” description requires a little background.  You may already know that much of Seneca’s thought has been gleaned from his letters to his friend Lucilius.  In what is referred to as his 65th letter, he expounds upon the meaning of life to his friend.  According to Seneca’s recall of Plato, there are five causes:  matter (wood, bronze, rocks..the stuff), the agent (God), the form (the ways in which matter is combined to make up our reality), the model (the pattern upon which something is created), and the end view or purpose.  So, God uses a model to put the matter together to form it toward the end goal.  For all that we do, we follow this same series of causes.  When we start a project, build a life, or endeavor on a journey, we do so using these five.  Not a bad way to look at things in my opinion.  It’s a good way to organize a complex reality.  There certainly can be others, but let’s stick with this one.

As I mentioned earlier, the first cause is the agent. According to Seneca, this is God.  It is also our own reason, which is derived from God.  In fact, reason and God are one and the same.  In this 65th letter to his friend Lucilius, Seneca proposes that the first cause is “surely Creative Reason- in other words, God.  For those elements to which you referred are not a great series of independent causes; they all hinge on one alone, and that will be the creative cause. ”

So, it seems that Seneca places the highest importance on our creative reason as if it were godly.  However, he admits that he is unsure of this to his friend.  After coming to this conclusion he asks his friend Lucilius for help in the matter:  “Either give your opinion, or, as is easier in cases of this kind, declare that the matter is not clear and call for another hearing.”

What is clear is that Seneca thought these existential questions to be extremely important to our happiness:  “And that which creates, in other words, God, is more powerful and precious than matter, which is acted upon by God.  God’s place in the universe corresponds to the soul’s relation to man.  World-matter corresponds to our mortal body; therefore let the lower serve the higher.”

I tend to think that our ability to reason, and more precisely our ability to conceive our purpose in the universe is a divine gift.  The fundamental question that remains is what are we to do with our life?  This question has, in my opinion, already been answered:  we must pursue virtue.  But now, as Pandora’s box has been opened, some trickier questions remain:

  • What is virtuous?
  • How do we pursue it?
Pandora's Box. Much worse than a can of worms.

Pandora’s Box. Much worse than a can of worms.

Fortunately for my blogging career, all of our human reason hasn’t quite answered these questions, yet.  Looks like I’ll have enough material to keep me busy.  Of course, I haven’t really solved much for myself or anyone else today, have I?

Out of My Control…Even Me? On Sleep…

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Everything around me is out of my control.  Sometimes, even my own body and mind are not mine.  I wanted to sleep this morning until 9 am at least (it is my day off after all), except I awoke at 6:30 with my eyes wide open.   I gave myself until 7 to go back to sleep.  By 6:50, my mind was already filling with ideas.  Sometimes, even my own psyche is out of my control.  If I were a psychological guru, I suppose I could have forced myself back to sleep, or at least tried a little harder to relax.  Wow, think about that statement for a moment:  “try a little harder to relax”?  Is that an oxymoron or what?  It seems like many of us do a lot of that.  We work at resting…hmmm.

Sleeeeeeeeep!

Sleeeeeeeeep!

I think part of our effort to “work at relaxing” comes from the fact that we misunderstand what we can and cannot control.  For example, perhaps I was misguided about whether I had a choice in the matter of sleeping.  How many of us have convinced ourselves that we can “will” ourselves to sleep with our cerebral cortex only, while forgetting the other parts of our brain.  We can just think ourselves to sleep…yeah, right!

Sleeeeep!

Sleeeeep!

Also, let’s not forget about that circadian rhythm.  In my case, my own sleep cycle complicates matters.  You see, two nights ago I was called in to work all night:  7 pm to 7 am.  I had the opportunity to nap during that time, but I had little meaningful sleep.  When I returned from work, it was about 7:30 am and I was exhausted.  I fell asleep on the spot.  I awoke 6 hours later…not bad, but not that great either after being awake for basically 24 hours.  I hardly felt refreshed by bed time, which turned out to be 1 am.  Cycle–all–out–of–whack.  Out of my control.

Sleep when tired.

Sleep when tired.

So, even though I know I could have used more sleep, I only slept from 1 am to 6:30 am last night, and that’s that.  So, that will be 2 rounds of 6 hours of sleep, in the last 48.  Some people can live on this kind of sleep, but not me.  I can accept this.  Maybe I will get a little nap today.  Notice the “maybe” in that statement.  It is a very strong maybe; it implies a lack of control.  I cannot control much of what the day has in store for me.  I may have chores to do, my wife may have plans for me today, my children may need me right when I should be napping, or I may actually lay down to “saw some Z’s” and I won’t be able to get to sleep.  Out of my control.

All things considered, I don’t feel that tired anyway…yet.  At least I’ll get a full night sleep tonight.  Oh wait, scratch that, it’s Christmas eve.  Now there is something I can be sure about…that I WON’T get much sleep on Christmas eve, as a father of two young children.  Up late playing Santa, up early enjoying their excitement.

Out of my control.  Sometimes, like on Christmas eve and morning, it’s just fun being along for the ride.  Possibly, I’m just excited for Christmas and that’s why I can’t sleep.

MAYBE that nap will be had tomorrow.

 

Merry Christmas…Stoic Style

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If life were a race around a track, Christmas seems to be when I get my split time.  Like in a NASCAR race, I find that Christmas is my time to check where I stand in my life.  It is when I pass the pole.  If life is a series of fence posts that I pass on my journey, then Christmas is that familiar landmark, that pink and purple mailbox that I pass that awakens me to the fact that I have made progress…at least progress toward something.

Santa making Stoic progress.

Santa making Stoic progress.

More than any other time, more than my birthday, more than New Year’s day, more than any other day, Christmas time turns me toward reflection.  All of my living loved ones either are with me, or communicate with me.  All of those I have lost, come back to me in my memories as well.  I see all of the change in everyone’s families in their Christmas cards.  I pause to see my children celebrate again, but they are all one year older.

“…nights growing colder
Children growing up, old friends growing older
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away…
The innocence slips away”  –Neil Peart (from the song “Time Stands Still” lyricis for the rock band Rush)  See it and hear it, here.

A time for reflection.

A time for reflection. (photo:  Wong Mei Teng)

I observe myself as well.  I can remember my attitude about the Holiday throughout the years, and how it has changed.  I observe how I fit into the grand scheme of others’ lives.  It’s always a little different every year.  Former close friends are more distant, new friends are closer, relationships are rekindled from the past as well.

As Marcus Aurelius reflects in his Meditations:  “Is any man afraid of change? Why what can take place without change? What then is more pleasing or more suitable to the universal nature? And canst thou take a bath unless the wood undergoes a change? And canst thou be nourished, unless the food undergoes a change? And can anything else that is useful be accomplished without change? Dost thou not see then that for thyself also to change is just the same, and equally necessary for the universal nature?”

Christmas is a time when I slow down.  It is an excellent opportunity to dwell in the present moment, but also one to observe that time marches on, with or without us.  That’s why how I spend my time is very important if I am to be a man of virtue.

My Meditation on Dukkha (…a special kind of “dissatisfaction”)

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I am about to turn 43.  Looking at that age written down, it looks like an old age.  It’s not elderly, but it’s old.  I always wanted to be 40.  It’s the age where you’re still young enough to do things, most people have their health, but very few consider you a “kid.”  You get respect at 40, while the degeneration process of the body and mind has not quite kicked in.  40 was my goal age.

The problem is that you don’t just get to stop at 40.  Honestly, the 3 years since I turned 40 have flown by like an instant.  The tick-tick-tick of time keeps moving.  In many ways, my life is about like I expected it to be now.  In other ways, it is completely off.  I thought there would be satisfaction in being in my 40’s.  Instead, there is a background of disappointment.  The millions that weren’t made (or at least 10’s of thousands) despite the hard work, the places I haven’t visited, the children who are leaving to live their own lives….I want them to be little again.  Where did the time go?  In short, just like happens to many of us who keep saying “if only i were XXX, then I’ll be happy” or “if only had, XXX then I will slow down,” and then we finally get there, I am on to the next bit of grasping for more.  We never really get there when we grasp for more…Dukkha.  Dukkha is that dissatisfaction that you will always feel when you grasp at this reality, when you expect fulfillment from things of this world.  You can never gain permanent satisfaction in this reality.

This background of dissatisfaction, I’ve felt this way before.  It is the type of feeling that rushes in and makes me ask, “Is this all there is?”  I started getting these feelings in my mid-20s; I think it was when the testosterone of teenage life wore off.  In my 20’s, I had alcohol that confused the matter…lots of alcohol.  All the while, I searched for truth.  I found the teachings of the Buddha, and read about Dukkha.  Buddhism recommended a drug-free existence.  When I was 31, I decided that I could see things more clearly without alcohol.  So, I stopped drinking it.

Without alcohol, I could see more clearly.

Without alcohol, I could see more clearly.

It was at that point that understanding came much faster.  My motivation was much better, and my energy returned.  I could see things clearer.  Success in life began to accelerate; and I kept learning.

But that feeling kept returning, more powerful each time.  As I tried to anchor myself in this world, it became less rational.  Empty.  There is no meaning in this perceived reality.  It is emptiness.

As I age, it can be gut-wrenching.  The dissatisfaction!  Dukkha.  I think as I age, the impermanence of existence is more obvious.  I used to play the “I wonder what I’ll be doing in ten years” game.  I don’t like to play that game anymore…53 is not an age I am in a rush to attain, nor do I wish for my children to each be 10 years older, and certainly not my parents.  I can accept it, but I can wait for it…patiently.  No hurry to speed through 10 years.

Dukkha indeed.   Grasping at this life as if it were going to last forever.   All that I see around me will be gone one day.  All that I feel, all that I’ve worked for will be gone.  All that I intend to work for in the next 10, 20, 30 years will eventually be gone.  In 30 years I will be 73…if I make it to that age.

One of my goals...aging gracefully.

One of my goals…aging gracefully. (www.loosha.nl – ginny@loosha.nl)

When I slow down, breathe, and enjoy my existence now.  When I read, write, reflect and feel, when I am present in the moment, the dissatisfaction fades.  Writing, for me, is my meditation, and it is one of those times I feel most alive.  It is my craft and it completes me.  I think we all have one or more of those things we do that bring us back to the present moment.

When we are present in the moment, we are not grasping, and we find the end of dissatisfaction, and if we are sages we can escape Dukkha.