“If one were to measure what is agreeable by the standard of pleasure, nothing would be pleasanter than self-control; and if one were to measure what is to be avoided by pain, nothing would be more painful than lack of self-control.” Musonius Rufus

How do I live?  Isn’t that the whole point of having a philosophy?  It is good to have a philosophy, to be whole and virtuous, to have tranquility, but is it a mistake to spend the bulk of my time and thought on “me”?  In the end, we are looking for our own contentment. I am not going to lie to myself; in the end, how I live my life is determined by how it makes “me” feel.  Will my actions and thoughts bring me tranquility?

I close my eyes for a moment.  What do I sense?  Where is the center of this sensation?  For some, it will be in our heads, for others it will be somewhere near the center of mass of our body, maybe the navel, maybe near the heart.  What is my perspective when I open my eyes?  The perspective comes from the center of my head.  When I listen where does the sound go?  Inside me somewhere, yes?  When I feel pleasant, where do I feel it…somewhere within the boundaries of my body, no?  Everything starts somewhere within the confines of “me.”  For you, it is the same.

The Eyes are the “Portal to the Soul”

My point here is that I cannot avoid the fact that everything in my life starts with an egocentric motive, it starts with me.  All things in my life start with me.  All the things that I can control are inside of me.  My mood, my thoughts, parts of my health.  This is not to say that everything in me is in my control.  I will maintain that cancer may destroy my body regardless of how much I do not want it to.  My brain does not fire on all cylinders all the time despite how much I want it to.  The examples abound of things I cannot control within me.  But here is my point: if it is something we can control, it is within us.  Nothing outside of us is completely in our control.

Are you “seaworthy?”

Moreover, too many times we attempt to “fix” the world around us before we have made ourselves ready for the task.  Before setting sail, shouldn’t we make sure our ship is seaworthy?  Absolutely!  Keep in mind, that you could spend 100% of your time on yourself, and of course there will still be imperfection.  For a ship, being seaworthy does not mean that there aren’t maintenance issues to be dealt with constantly.  Eventually, you have to sail with what you have, and you deal with the minor issues on the ship as they appear.  So, I hope you see my point:  tending to your own mind and body is first and will take the bulk of your time, but that is so you can well and faithfully serve where necessary…but only if and when you have readied yourself.

I think that is why the Stoic philosophy is so “me-oriented,” since that is the locus of control that we truly have.  That is why me is always first.  Wholeness begins with yourself.  You can serve others better when you are whole.