Doing What You Love v. Loving What You Do (Part III)

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So, inevitably you must ask, “if I am not doing what I love then do I need to change it?”  Should I just accept my fate, and stoically perform my duty?  The short answer is “yes and no.”  Take your career for example.  Sometimes you are not in a position to immediately change it, your livelihood.  There are externals that you have to consider like basic income, moving, family, children in school, etc.  However, if you are not in a career that is healthy, wholesome, and completely virtuous (consistent with nature), eventually you must change it so you can “do what you love.”  You can make yourself accept a career that is not what you love, you can love doing it by convincing yourself it is your fate, but…  Eventually, you must find a career consistent with your virtue and one that at its very heart you can say, “I am glad I am doing this.” Continue reading

Doing What I Love or Loving What I Do?

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I recently had an opportunity to meet up with some old friends from the military at a retirement for a friend.  This friend was doing what he loved, the Air Force was his dream job.  I was envious.  I retired from the military precisely because it was not what I loved.  It was not my “dream job.”  My friend will be moving on to a high-powered corporate management gig, and I started to wonder how he will do outside of his “dream job.”  But then I realized something about my friend.  It wasn’t that he was doing what he loved, it’s because he loves what he’s doing.  My friend is going to love his new gig because he simply has a great attitude about things wherever he goes.  More specifically, he loves making “good things happen to people” (his words).  Fortunately for him, in management (a field used in every industry and calling) it always involves people.

This retirement event was a soul-searching one for me, Continue reading

The Journey Toward Consistency

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“Every error implies conflict; for since he who errs does not wish to go wrong but to go right, plainly he is not doing what he wishes.”  Epictetus  (See Full Quote Here)

What is Epictetus getting at here?  If you read the full excerpt, there is a lot to digest in this philosophical pondering.  In the end, it comes down to this:  Think before you do.  When I take an action, when I make a decision about what to do, and when I choose how I will live my life, it should be consistent with my values, with my rationality. Continue reading

You Can Lead a Horse to Water…

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If you know something is right, if you know that acting a certain way, or even feeling a certain way is the way to maintain your tranquility, then why don’t you do it?

I will get to the point:  It is through your will that you can maintain your tranquility.  To act according to your philosophy during the most trying of times requires great effort, but to be a person of virtue you must do this.  You must, through sheer mental exertion, act how you know you should act!

Here on the site, I write about a philosophical world view that includes being aware of what you can and cannot control, that fate largely determines our future, and that everything is impermanent.  You may agree with this view in its entirety or you may disagree with parts or even all of it.  Regardless of your opinion on the matter, I do think that living a life of tranquility requires two major steps:

  1. Establish your philosophy (How do I live?)
  2. Live by that philosophy

Because it may be where most of us philosophers fail, I want to address that second part today.  Assuming you have established some semblance of what is the way to live, then what does it take to actually live according to what you know to be virtuous?  Let’s break this down a little.  Let’s just take one small example.

In my philosophy, I know that I cannot control the actions of those around me.  Occasionally, I am confronted by someone who is a complete jackass.

Picture of an Ass

Picture of a jackass

I don’t mean that they are being a jackass today, but I mean a person who, by the sum of their actions, is a jackass (see definition here).  Assuming that I must deal with this person, at least for a time, what do I do?  First, I must determine (a) how I act with this person?  For my own tranquility though, I must establish (b) how I feel about and because of this person?

(a) I do not return their rudeness, attitude, and demeanor in kind.  Some of us may be tempted to do this, but most of us find this step fairly easy to complete, although it does cause us stress.  In any case, this is easier than the next part of my reaction to this jackass, and that leads to…

(b) I do not let their action affect my emotion, viewpoint and general attitude of the world around me.  This, I think, is the tough part.  It is by sheer force of will, by having complete awareness and exerting effort that I execute this very important step and maintain my tranquility and my virtue.  In many cases, I may need to maintain my interaction (e.g., a family member, an important client, my boss), so I may need use my mental will constantly.  In many cases, you may have the option to discontinue the interaction, and I do not discourage this if you have the option (for example, find a new job, look for new clients, etc.).  In any case, you must first decide whether a continued interaction is important to you; then regardless of what you decide, you maintain your tranquility through your own effort.

Sheer Force!

Sheer Force!

The bottom line here is that tranquility is yours to control, and this requires effort of will.  Your philosophy is there for you to use it in the toughest of times, and when these challenges arise you will be required to act according to what you know to be true:  that your virtue is maintained by you regardless of external influence.

To act according to what you know to be best is not always easy, but you must do so, no?

Ten Things I am Grateful For (Changing My Attitude)

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Happiness is a state of mind…blah, blah, blah, blah.   Great, thanks for the advice, how does that really help me?  Happiness is a state of mind?  Seriously how is that supposed to help me?  I know that!  The real question is, how do I change my mind?  More precisely, how do I change my state of mind to be happy.

Well, one way is to list things you are grateful for.  This morning I came up with a list of 10 things I am grateful for.  When I started, I wanted it to be a “Top 10” things I am grateful for, but as I kept thinking I realized that it would be difficult to say which things would be in the “top 10.”  In any case, these are the first 10 things I thought of.

  1. No Pain – Some people, when they open their eyes in the morning feel pain immediately.  Maybe in their joints, their back, their head, stomach, etc.  I am very fortunate.  As I age, I think I have more and more aches and pains, but I do not have anything I would classify as chronic pain.  I am very grateful that my body has yet to rebel on me.
  2. My Wife – I am grateful for my wife.  I do not want to be too sentimental here, although I could get that way.  I could write post after post of things I am grateful for about my wife.  For this list, however, I will limit my gratefulness to 2 major things about my wife that I am grateful for.  First, I am grateful that I managed to find someone who is comaptible enough with me that living with her is possible.  I take for granted, that many end up with a mate that is so incompatible that they are doomed to difficulty or divorce from the start.  Not so with my wife and I.  We have our differences certainly, but these are things we tweak here and there.  Next, is the fact that she gives a damn…about our relationship.  My wife loves and cares for US.   She makes an effort to build our relationship; when I make the effort she returns it, sometimes ten-fold.  I mention this because I often take this for granted.  She exerts effort to keep our relationship strong.  I know that this is not always the case with others.  Many people just give up on their relationships.
  3. Children (mine) – I have 5 children.  Each of them provides me with a different perspective on life.  In their own way, they each decipher the world for me through a different lens.  It is very difficult to put into words how each of them brings me joy and insight.  A little embarrassingly, they also make me very proud…I shouldn’t really have pride, should I?
  4. Food – It is not lost on me, that I have never had to worry about if I would get my next meal.  Certainly, not always a feast, but I have had some of those as well.
  5. Shelter – I have more than enough space, conditioned air, electricity, running safe water, and all the other amenities of a standard U.S. home.  I often think to myself that my residence would be considered a manor if I were to transport it back in time 100 years.  Take it further back, maybe 300 years, and it would be the grandest castle in all the world.  It’s amazing how lucky you can consider yourself when you think through the 4th dimension of time.
  6. My Mind – I am grateful that my reasoning faculties are intact.  This certainly may not last forever.  I have observed that my mind has indeed slowed down.  I have seen grandparents devolve into dementia (although from their perspective, this may actually be a blessing), and I can see others who have lost or are just losing their mind around me.
  7. Ice Cream – Do I really need to explain?  Sidenote:  I mix in peanut butter.  It’s weird and makes it even worse for me, but makes for a breathtaking occasional treat!  Also, ice cream is not food like in #4…it’s a completely different category.

    It's missing peanut butter.

    It’s missing peanut butter.

  8. Negative Examples – All around me, people are rude, proud, and lying.  They are violent, they don’t listen.  They judge me, in my opinion, without all the facts too soon.  They are ambitious to the point of greed and sometimes to obsession.  I am so grateful for this.  This is an opportunity for me to see my own dark side, to see it from outside of me.  When you see these things in another, you can address them in yourself…and use this as an antidote not to be like that.
  9. Life is a Path – I am glad that I was born basically knowing nothing.  I am glad that my parents taught me their view on life.  I am glad that society tried to teach me “norms.”  I am glad for organized religion, too.  Much of what I was taught I rejected, but I was challenged to do so on the path.  I am glad I once thought one way so strongly, in order that I was forced to defend my beliefs; as a result, I realized I was wrong.  So many thoughts, beliefs and philosophies I have had, all to lead to right now, which I am very grateful for.  …and the journey continues.Autumn Path C
  10. The Sun – I certainly take this for granted.  No matter what, the food you eat, the electricity we generate, the wood and steel we use, the plants….everything…all of Gaia…originates in the energy of the sun.  So perfectly placed from our planet, stable enough that it warms us and doesn’t fry us.  Close enough that we don’t freeze to death…it’s existence, simply amazing!

    Ball of energy!

    Ball of energy!

  11. The Internet – I guess this one is a bonus.  Used in moderation, the internet is a wonderful thing.  Information, communication, love, hate, play, business, fun…it’s a virtual world.  I am sure that if we never had the internet we would not miss it, but now that it is here, I really appreciate it.

So, in case you were wondering how to change your attitude and appreciate your world, there it is.  Maybe you are grateful for some of the things on my list, too.