About Chris

Navigating through life by learning. Sharing my thoughts and experiences, hoping that it might help as many as possible live the good life.

Anchor #7: Lovingkindness

Posted on November 14, 2012 by Chris

Lovingkindness (Metta) is sometimes shortened (even by me) to love. This is fine; it’s easier to remember, but I think to absorb the true meaning of lovingkindness you have to remember that it is so much more than “love.”

Not this Metta!

Lovingkindness is to wish good will and happiness to all sentient beings. First and foremost of these are humans…not because they deserve it, but probably because they don’t. Seriously, when is the last time a bison or a worm ticked you off? In other words, people can be much harder to express lovingkindness to, precisely because they are so complex. That darn neocortex (see triune brain)!

In any case, the lovingkindness I focus on is that for those in the human species. Like compassion or sympathetic joy, you can express it for

Yourself
Those you already love
Those you don’t know
Those you can’t stand
Those you absolutely hate (you know there are a few, yes?)

As soon as you master these five, then maybe you can expand towards all sentient beings.

Lovingkindness is not that Eros kind of love, where the passion is returned. It is a selfless love extending out as brotherly (remember philia?) love, and then all-embracing unconditional love, possibly an agape (godly) love.

You can meditate and wish lovingkindness to your world, person by person, being by being.

It all starts with a quiet moment and contemplation…

(Feature “Hands” photo by Penny Mathews)

Sentient

Posted on November 14, 2012 by Chris

Sentient – term used to describe living beings that can experience suffering (as in sentient being). In Eastern thought this attribute is given to living beings other than humans. Some lineages of Buddhism take this to the extreme.

An example of this extreme view might be in the movie Seven Years in Tibet, when the monks worked painstakingly and slowly in digging a foundation for their building so that they would not kill the worms that were in the ground.

Much of this Buddhist thought connects with the concept of reincarnation. In “Seven Years,” the construction worker states, “This worm could have been your mother.”

A kitten could be considered a sentient being.

Anchor #6: Equanimity

Posted on November 12, 2012 by Chris

Equanimity: the sixth anchor in my CUPPJEL meditation. I have mentioned it at least twice before (here and here). Although I am writing about equanimity sixth, it very well may be the greatest of the anchors, or the Sublime States for that matter.

Not only is equanimity a means to virtue, but it could be an end state. Equanimity implies tranquility, which in the end is the goal of virtue, no? Once you have it, it permeates all of your actions and thoughts. Once equanimity courses through your veins, it fundamentally changes you! It is a marvelous state of being that makes you a better person.

So, that’s great and all, but what is it? Well, first of all I’ve described equanimity quite a bit in my passionate equanimity post. In short, it is the ability to see and know existence as it is, with all of its ups and downs. It is not to be indifferent, but rather to be aware and accepting. However, true equanimity goes much further than that. It is to let go of yourself, your ego. It is to be the ultimate observer in an unselfish way. In the end, nothing is truly yours…you are infinitely connected to every atom in existence. You are part of this divine interconnection, you always have been and you always will be. Someday, the atoms you are borrowing from all of existence will go off to other uses. In fact, the the vast majority of atoms in your body now will probably not be the same ones that are in your future body.

You are a collection in the Primordial Soup

Even tomorrow, your own mind and body will be entirely different. The cells, molecules and atoms of your body once belonged to a cow, a pig, fungus, manure, the air, a carrot, etc. As you expel your own cells, your own composition will be used by plants, by others, by bacteria, and the rest of existence. Even more awe-inspiring, some of those atoms will escape, and travel throughout the universe. Others within you now, have already been to the outer reaches of space. You are helplessly and forever part of all of existence. There is no “you” there. As you accept this, little things become nothing and big things that bother you become much smaller.

As a result, you can rationally and methodically see things as they are…and accept them, and be more virtuous.

Are you there?

Anchor #5: Sympathetic Joy

Posted on November 11, 2012 by Chris

To be happy…for someone else. It sounds easy to do, doesn’t it? Of course, it does. You are probably thinking of someone close to you: your brother finally getting that job, your son graduating college, your sister won the big jackpot at pachinko, your friend got a raise.

Pachinko–Japanese Slot Machines?

However, when you really think about it are you 100% happy for that person? 100%!? There is not a tinge of jealousy or “sour grapes?” You are not thinking things like this?

About your brother and his job – I need a new job, too!
About your son and his graduation – Why didn’t I ever get my degree?
About your sister and her big win – Money isn’t everything, she might be sorry after the tax bill comes!
About your friend and his raise – I wish I was “in” with the boss.

Called Mudita in Sanskrit, sympathetic joy means unconstrained happiness for another’s good fortune. This means not only to feel happy for them, but to do so unconditionally without those “sour grapes” feelings. Sometimes I am just outright envious of others’ happiness, which means that I really have a long way to go before I can really feel any joy, let alone sympathetic joy for another.

Sour Grapes?

To have the thoughts in 1 – 4 above is not necessarily bad in and of itself. We can use others’ success and happiness to reflect on where our life is going (e.g. What can I do to get a new job?) and on what is important to us (“I really don’t need a college degree at this point in my life” or “money really isn’t everything”). However, these kinds of thoughts, particularly in the moments right after we discover the good news, can indicate that we are unwilling to be unconditionally joyous for others.

Even more difficult is to have sympathetic joy for someone we do not know and then, heaven forbid, for someone we really don’t like. This attitude requires some cultivation to be sure. Think of an elected official who you did not want to win his position, but he won anyway. Can you be happy for him? What about the lady in front of you at the checkout counter who is the 1 millionth customer? She just won $50,000! Can you be happy for her? What about the guy who just passed you on the right (oh, the humanity!) and made it through that red light?

To meditate on whether or not you have an unconditional joy for others can be a very powerful tool in your journey toward virtue. You can also develop the ability to have better sympathetic joy by meditating on it. Your meditation may begin with gently closing your eyes, then following your breath. When you breathe in, notice your breath and say “breathing in. When you breathe out, notice the out-breath and say “breathing out,” and so on…

As you continue to follow your breath meditate on someone with good fortune; maybe a friend, your spouse, or family member. Truly feel their joy. Their joy is your joy. You are happy. As you continue, you can think of someone you don’t know. You can think of someone who has had great fortune. Maybe a neighbor you are not close to who has just had a newborn child. Truly feel their joy. Their joy is your joy. You are happy because they are happy. Next, you can think of someone you do not particularly like. They have great fortune that comes their way. Truly feel their joy. Their joy is your joy. You are happy because they are happy.

Welcome to Mudita…One of the Four Sublime States and one my 7 Meditation Anchors.

Will you try this?

The Four Sublime States

Aside

In Buddhism, there are Four Sublime States (brahmavihāras, sometimes called the immeasurables). According to the history, they were taught directly by the Buddha.

Lovingkindness (metta) – an unconditional desire for all living things to be happy
Compassion (karuna) – a desire to relieve suffering of others
Sympathetic Joy (mudita) – rejoicing in the good fortune and happiness of others
Equanimity (upekkha) – a detached acceptance of existence, good and bad

They are considered by Buddhists to be a strong tool to fight negative attitudes and feelings. I consider them to to be very strong tools to be more virtuous.